You Learn

Living in a complicated world gives me an opportunity to do things that really makes my mind speculate. I may mess up sometimes but I know its how my life works. I do cry, I do really... Especially when it comes to studies & family matters. It just makes me feel down when I have a lot of pressure trying to do things but it just cant be right. Doing strange things can fallout into realizations. I love pleasure, achievements & the feeling of bliss. Who doesn't? But sometimes I just have to feel failure, rejection & grievances. If I'll say that nobody has to live with these negative outcomes except me, well I wasn't thinking...

These negative outcomes may be full of shit but I know it could help me eventually. I must learn from my mistakes. Failing an exam is a very adversely feeling. Studying as if there is no tomorrow, sleepless nights, skipping meals & skipping gimmicks just to focus then you just fail the exam. What the hell was that? Was I really dumb or the exam wasn't really for me? But then, why must I let this failure ruin my life? Then I realized that I need to improve things. Maybe I should study more and try to forget my pleasure just for a span of time. And maybe, I could pass the damn exam next time.


Living is odd when you have nobody to love. Sometimes, love just comes in your way without even expecting. You don't have to look for love because it comes freely. And when you find it, grab it. Don't take love for granted. Just try to feel the person and let him/her feel special. Live by the day and learn how to appreciate each other. Who wants to be loved? Was that a question? But sometimes, love can't be yours at the moment. When you broke up with your loved one, your crush hates you or when your special someone fell out of love with you... it just feels somber. You can't laugh because it's hurting. You can't even look at the brighter side because of a simple reason that.... you just can't! Then eventually, you learn how to improve things. You learn how deal with love properly. You learn that some things are just not meant for you. And then you learn how to smile.

When your mom yells at you and scolds you all the time that you just can't live with it anymore but you have no choice, when your parents give you curfew as if you are a kid. When your elder kuyas and ates ask you something without even thinking. When you just hate your family because, "hey please give me a break!" When you knew that your dad has a second family somewhere, when you had an achievement and nobody cares to congratulate you... How was your family makes you happy anyway? Then you thought, that they are the people who are too focused with something and they don't give a damn about you. But they love you... really. Just learn to deal with it, live with it and everything will just be fine.

When vices make you feel good. It kills time and boredoms, when you feel like drinking beer all the time. You smoke, do drugs, watch porno’s and shit. When you started to love these things badly. And it kills you when you don't. Then suddenly you started to feel sick & tired of these things. You became an asshole to your family and friends because you are an addict. You laugh at anyone even if they are really not funny. When you became a crazy person. Then you realized, that you should've, would've, and could’ve entertained these vices in the first place. It feels good at first but it will make you crazy and different in the end.

When you try to make everyone proud of you but they just CAN'T. Simply because you are not good enough or maybe you need to do better. When you expect them to praise you for what you have done but they rather stare at you and make you realize that... "hello? what was that?" When you feel that nobody likes you because you are a loser. When you think that everyone thinks you as a joke even in the most serious manner. When no one hears your grievances, and you just want to die. Then you realized that its just you who thought all those things and you are obviously a paranoid person. You learned how to read between the lines and be understanding to the people around you...

Maybe there are things and circumstances that hurt you and make you feel bad, but these things and circumstances will definitely help you to realize and reflect yourself. Don't stop yourself to react on negative things. Cry, grieve, scream & get mad.. Everybody does that anyway. Who doesn't? You must realize that when you live, love, cry, lose, bleed, scream, grieve, choke, laugh, choose, pray, & ask.......

you will also learn.

learn and realize things, that's how life works...