I Can't Hide It, I Won't Deny It

People see me as a loud person. Not the loud type who shouts all the time. But rather, a loud person, who laughs, makes fun of everything, always happy, hyper and active. People who see me like this are the ones who have been with me most of the time. But I wonder if someone knows me really well…

A happy person who’s fond of keeping things and feelings inside. Ironic? But that’s me. Despite of my jolly and hyper personality, I can also feel hurting, pain, and shit that keeps on bullshitting me all the time. I get angry, I feel sad I feel bad and disappointed when bad circumstances happen.

I try and I’m still trying to adjust with everybody. Be considerate, rational and understanding… But do others also forget how to be considerate, rational and understanding to the others? I really find it unfair but I think that’s how life works. I know life’s a bitch sometimes…

Whenever I my mom keeps on scolding me without hearing my side, whenever my brother bullies me without even thinking, whenever my grandmother yells at me without even hearing herself, whenever our maid ignores me when I’m eating, whenever my father gives me pressure without even asking if its ok… I prefer to go inside my room and shut my mouth up. I don’t feel like bursting my feelings out because it might result into anything. Anything that might hurt other’s feelings. I prefer to keep it to myself rather than saying it to them. I don’t want people see me as an irrational person who keeps on bursting her stupid feelings.

(You don’t have to say anything… just… listen, read… and try to feel my emotions..)

I hate it when people lose control and discipline. When someone keeps on insisting that he/she’s just having a good time but hey… IT IS TOO MUCH. When someone forgets to think and act stupid without even having a second thought or something. People like those give me a headache. It sucks big time! But I don’t think I have to say it to someone who acts stupid. Why should I care? But sometimes, these people affect my vision to life and its killing me. However, I still prefer to shut my mouth up because these people might misinterpret me. I rather keep it to myself than telling it to them. He/she might get hurt anyway…

Insensitive people are the most annoying people in the world. They don’t care if they hurt other’s feelings. They don’t care if someone gets a headache whenever they act indifferently. They don’t give a damn if they’re doing the worst action in the world, they don’t give a damn if their actions make them look stupid. They don’t care if someone is trying to please them, adjust and be patient to them because of the obvious reason that THEY JUST DON”T CARE. And I don’t know why these people still exist?

People who are too lazy to do something worthy, people who don’t try to foresee their future,. people who don’t fix their fucking lives. Don’t these people are the ones who are the pains in the asses of each and everyone of us?

People who betray people’s trust those who are corrupt, liars, inadequate, crazy and stubborn who are too selfish. Don’t these people give you a heart attach afterwards?

They say that maturity follows the age of a person, but does maturity means knowing the difference between right and wrong? Having the right choice and be wiser in everything a person does? Why do some matured people end up with nothing good (tumatanda ng paurong)? Why do they forget that they’re holding their future and they still ignore it and all?

Having a good time is part of they say “living your life…” but discipline and control are also part of it right? So why do these two things tend to be forgotten most of the time?

People who leave you behind, “nangiiwan sa ere” are the people who really destroys my head out. These are the people who break my heart so bad. “The pressure is on me! The pressure is on me!” That’s how I actually feel but I still have the strength to hide it out.

People who ask me if I was hurt or if I’m angry or something but the reason and the reaction is already obvious…. These people annoy me but I have also the strength to live with them anyway.

People who know that you’re sick and ill but still give you a lot of pressure and still expect you to be active, hyper and all… These people are the most inconsiderate people don’t you think?

If you think that you are someone who I merely described and you think that you somehow annoyed others. But you thought of disregarding it because it’s not a big deal anyway… Maybe you must think again, before it’s too late…………….I guess.