How It's Like to Have a COVID-19 Scare When You're Away from Home

Due to exhaustion and burnout, I've decided to start working from home on weekends. That was 2 weeks ago.

Friday morning last week, my voice started to sound weird. It went from 60% to 20%. I couldn't speak well and struggled to every phone call I got the whole day but still managed to enjoy the weekend.

Come Saturday, my voice went from 20% to 10% and started coughing with sore throat. I was confused if I should go to the office the next day because I thought I was fine. FYI, work resumes on Sundays in Bangladesh.

Obviously, I went to the office on Sunday because there was no way that I could skip my important meetings that day. I reported my condition to our in-house physician and UN doctor and was prescribed for medication but was also advised to go home. Although my body temperature was perfectly normal, it's better to self-isolate and observe for any developed symptoms. 

A day after, my sore throat was completely gone but still coughing. The next day, my voice progressed from 10% to 95%. However, since I'm not yet officially well, I've decided to finally request for COVID-19 PCR test just to be sure and for my peace of mind. I was confused at first if I should get it because I didn't have fever or something. But after consulting with my doctor friends, I said, why not. When you are in that situation, believe me.. decision making is not that easy so better know which advice to take.  

I was expecting to get the confirmation for my appointment and finally got booked the next day - Wednesday.

I got up super early and was feeling anxious. I felt like having a bad headache. I called the clinic to confirm the time of collection but they said it's uncertain and be patient. Yes, I guess that's what I needed.. patience. 

The medical personnel did a home-service to get my samples. It was almost lunch time and I was starving. It was a nasopharyngeal swab sampling. It was awkwardly painful but not that intense - I guess it would depend on the person's tolerance. It felt like I snorted a ton of water lol. He left and I resumed working as if nothing happened. I was told that it would take 24 hours to receive the result. Damn, I hate waiting and that, folks, were the longest 24 hours of my life. 

I told my family about it. I got mixed reactions but ultimately, they were all supportive and had zero drama. 

In less than 24 hours, I received a notification through my email. I couldn't believe it. I didn't open it. I was damn scared. But a text message popped-up for the same reason.

NEGATIVE.

Suddenly all the rush went out from all parts of my body like I was relieved from an intense roller coaster ride. That's it. I'm just having a normal cold. I wish I could jump around and hug everyone who were scared with and for me. A virtual high-five for now, I guess.

I don't get scared, scared. I'm always up for thrills and I find some contentment with it (except with rodents, ewwwww). But because I'm alone and away from home, I get to have those what-if scares, you know. 

Not all would understand me but when you're out and about and you've been exposed to different things, you know at some point that you are vulnerable but you have to be strong and cringe alone. Life is short and has full of surprises. Even if you think that you're the bravest, something will scare you somehow until you learn your lesson that you're just a normal person like everyone else and will, at some point, lose and get beaten by it. 

Here's to all the brave souls. May we all learn to acknowledge our losses and accept that fear will keep us all night long and will make us stronger.