I've been wanting to write something during this period but I just
couldn't because of my workload. As you know, I am still working as usual, I go
to the office, but 7 days a week. The government of Bangladesh
imposed for lockdown which they call a "general holiday" since
25 March 2020. It was supposed to be a 10-day shutdown only but we all expected
that it will be extended (now it's until 25 April).
Before WHO declared COVID-19 as pandemic, I already booked a
ticket to the Philippines for a 2-week vacation in May. I booked it as early as
05 February as the situation seemed normal that time. On 21 Feb, I
received a notification from Thai Airways about flight adjustments. From 2
hours to 14 hours, layover. I thought it wasn't really a big deal. Well it was,
because I had to stay overnight in Bangkok but I never expected that something
serious was about to happen.
Come March, countries started to impose travel bans. On 18 March,
my flight was officially cancelled. Was I sad? I was devastated. President
Duterte said that Filipino citizens are welcome to come home but not as if he
will send chartered planes to countries to pick us all up. USA did. Not sure in
other countries, but that's what they did in Bangladesh.
Working overseas is not easy especially when you're alone. It's
overwhelming, that's why we need social life to balance it out. But now, the
only thing that's close to social life is ZOOM-ing.
COVID-19 lockdown is the world's biggest psychological experiment. I
call it a Great Depression. Businesses are closing, people are losing jobs, and
the middle class is facing its greatest threat in this lifetime. Our human
interactions are so limited that we feel deprived. After this crisis, we don't
even know where to start or how to act normal because we are confused to what's
normal like.
People ask me why I'm still here. Well, although Thai Airways
bailed on me, there was actually one last option: to fly through Malaysia
Airlines. I had that small window to go home but I did not. Why?
"This is not something we imagined would ever happen but we
need to remember that our work is vital now more than ever.."
Our Country Rep told us that. And for me, that's enough for me to
stay.
Some few colleagues left and I don't blame them. It's not as if
they're less humanitarian than us. They had their own valid reasons and when
the shit hits the fan, should we feel bad for staying? I don't think so.
Because we all had our chances. We all had our dilemmas. We all had those
sleepless nights. And whatever was decided was already decided. It is what it
is.
I don't regret staying. We are placed right where we are but the
process is painful. I don't have to lie about it. I'm fighting everyday and
it's exhausting. Someday we will look back while we tell stories to younger
generations.
We need to survive this. We should. Because this whole thing... is
one for the books.