Life Begins @ Forty

At this age, I always remind myself to keep my feet on the ground and never forget where I came from. I once read, “By not forgetting where you came from, you ensure you never go backward. You ensure you always remain grateful and humble so you can keep doing what you love.” I think that’s beautiful and inspirational. I’m doing well so far, and nothing is more rewarding than touching someone’s life because of relatable beginnings.

Along my journey, I’ve learned that we outgrow friendships. For someone who had many “friends” constantly showing up at all my parties, I wasn’t ready to lose connections so easily. But then I realized some friendships only existed because I was a people pleaser. We outgrow people because something changes along the way. C’est la vie. Lowkey friendships are the best—no need to hang out all the time, but when something’s wrong, you know who will show up.

My husband taught me about boundaries. Maybe it’s the culture or how I was brought up, but I was always a yes-woman. Generally, Filipinos are too nice to say NO. I’d say yes to avoid hurting people’s feelings. I’d say yes because it felt good—until I was taken for granted and people abused my kindness. I’d give until it hurt. But why should I let it hurt? I am not unlimited. Setting boundaries taught me to respect myself more, to say, “This is the extent of what I can do, and that’s it.” And that’s maturity—like forty 😉.

Nothing comes easy. When I think about the times I almost gave up, I’m glad I didn’t—because suffering is temporary. Tom Hanks once said, verbatim: “You feel bad right now, you feel pissed off … this too shall pass. You feel angry … this too shall pass. You feel great, you feel like you know all the answers, you feel like everybody finally gets you … this too shall pass. Time is your ally, and if nothing else … just wait, just wait … just wait it out.”

Life will always throw you curveballs, and you can’t just wait for them to stop. But when you’re at your peak and bigger than life, you know it’s only good while it lasts.

I have anxiety. After a few therapy sessions, I realized I’ve had it since I was young. I worry a lot—I eat it, drink it, sleep with it. When I travel, I’m always at the airport way too early to avoid the risks of traffic or any mishaps. My mind runs through multiple things at once, and it can be unbearable sometimes, especially now that I’m a new mother. My mom tells me to relax and that not everything is my problem. This is still a work in progress.

On the contrary, I’ve also taken big steps and made bold decisions. If you haven’t taken risks in your life and you’re wondering why you feel stuck, maybe that’s your sign to take one. My dad taught me that growth happens outside your comfort zone—and that life is too damn short to play safe all the time. Waiting to be “good enough” before trying something is just a delaying tactic. And honestly, who cares about your failure besides you? Nobody.

People say life begins at 40, but to each his own. I enjoy being alone. I used to be extremely uncomfortable eating alone in public, but now? It’s a breather. I believe life starts when you truly understand yourself—when you know what you want. When you choose which battles are worth fighting, when you embrace boundaries, when you own your weaknesses and turn them into strengths, when you are inspired by those who made it, and when you become an inspiration yourself. I used to think 40 was old, and now that I am 40, I’m still unsure if I’m old, still young, or somewhere in between. What I know for sure is that forty is a milestone and a blessing. So here’s to more tiger balm patches, hong thai herbal inhaler, and katinkos. Cheers to 40! #kwarenta